The Gottman Method
Couples Counseling 

Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a structured, research-based approach to helping partners strengthen their relationship. Developed from over four decades of study by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, the method is grounded in observing what actually helps couples stay connected, repair conflict, and build long-term stability.

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Rather than focusing only on problems, Gottman therapy looks at the whole relationship system—friendship, communication patterns, emotional responsiveness, conflict style, and shared meaning. The goal is to help couples understand how their interactions either strengthen or weaken their bond, and to teach practical skills that improve connection and reduce distress.

 

​​​​A Gottman-trained counselor uses specific assessment tools to identify strengths and areas of strain. From there, therapy is guided by a clear framework known as the “Sound Relationship House,” which includes:

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• Building and maintaining friendship

• Strengthening admiration and respect

• Turning toward each other emotionally

• Managing conflict in healthier ways

• Supporting each other’s dreams and values

• Creating shared meaning and purpose

 

Sessions are active and skill-focused. Couples learn how to soften difficult conversations, repair arguments more effectively, reduce criticism and defensiveness, and increase emotional safety. The approach is practical, structured, and collaborative, with exercises both in session and between sessions.

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Gottman Method is especially helpful for couples who:

• Feel stuck in repetitive conflict

• Struggle with communication or emotional distance

• Are rebuilding trust after betrayal

• Want to strengthen an already stable relationship

 

This method is not about assigning blame. It views relationship distress as patterns that can be understood and changed. Therapy focuses on strengthening the partnership so both individuals feel heard, respected, and emotionally supported. There are specialized trainings and certifications (beyond Levels 1 & 2) for treating high emotional distress caused by trauma and affairs. You can read Araxie Jensen's blog post to learn more about that.

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Couples who prefer clear structure, concrete tools, and a research-grounded model often find Gottman therapy reassuring and effective.

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Things to do on a date.​