The more I looked into the magic mirror, the more I felt human, the more I told my children about the horrible curse I had been under, the more I sought their trust. If they expressed fear or hurt from the past, I would say, “I was sick. I’m not doing that now.” Nothing was truly resolved by my declarations as they looked at my outstretched hand with its dark, three inch, razor sharp claws. “I know.” They would respond, and the conversation would end. They would walk away fro

Why It Takes Time There is still a limited amount of precise, long-term research on stepfamilies, particularly when it comes to identifying exactly which parenting behaviors lead to the best outcomes for children. Much of what we know is based on patterns rather than clear cause-and-effect conclusions. Even so, the research consistently points to one reality: stepfamily formation is a complex transition for both parents and children. Children in stepfamilies are not simply ad

There is a notable limitation in research when it comes to how parents should talk to children during divorce. While decades of studies document outcomes for children following divorce, far fewer isolate the impact of specific communication patterns. This leaves parents navigating one of the most emotionally complex transitions in family life with guidance that is often general rather than precise or research informed. What the research does show consistently is that childr

Trauma must be treated in the body before the heart and mind can heal.

Favoritism (triangulation) occurs in couples counseling, but it doesn't have to. Since 1988 psychologists like John and Julie Gottman have found a way around it.