You Took the Bait so I Didn’t Have to

Generational Trauma: We are Their Voice Now

Tap. Tap. Tap went the fly lightly on the surface of the pond. I didn’t know anything about fly fishing, but Danny didn’t mind teaching me. In fact, he insisted, as enthusiasts sometimes do. We got to talking.

“That’s one of my best flies because it doesn’t really look like anything, but it’s interesting enough to make the fish want to bite. You know, fishermen found that if they used the same lure at a pond, then the fish would learn to avoid it, and you couldn’t use that same lure again until the third generation of fish had died. Then, they would start biting that lure again.” Danny explained.

I knew exactly what Danny was talking about, though I’d never heard it described in other animals: generational trauma. Mammals genetically pass down fear, better enabling the next generation to survive. Apparently, fish do as well. This ability is an adaptive marvel. No need to explain that to a saber-toothed tigers we were lunch, we encoded it directly into our DNA and passed it to our children. Today, saber-toothed tigers come in the form of war, famine, natural disasters, and abuse. Now I was the enthusiast. “Have you ever heard about the mice study?” I asked Danny with a grin.

In a now-famous 2013 study from Emory University, researchers exposed mice to the smell of cherry blossoms (acetophenone) while delivering mild electric shocks. The mice quickly learned to fear the smell. But what stunned scientists was this: the mice’s offspring—and their grand-offspring—also showed heightened fear responses to the same smell, even though they had never been shocked or exposed before.

When researchers examined the sperm of the traumatized mice, they found epigenetic changes: the gene responsible for detecting that specific odor was expressed differently. This suggests the trauma memory had been biologically transmitted across generations.

Although we must be cautious when translating mouse research to humans, this study adds powerful evidence that trauma can be inherited not just emotionally or behaviorally, but biologically. This supports what families experience every day: that pain can linger even when no one talks about it.

Dr. Judith Landau, a family psychiatrist and international expert on trauma, has found evidence of this adaptation in humans. Her decades of clinical work led her to a striking observation: unaddressed trauma can persist for up to five generations. She consistently found that a significant loss, war, displacement, or tragedy initiated a pattern of distress passed from parent to child.

This doesn’t mean every generation experiences the same trauma directly. Instead, the original pain influences behaviors, emotional patterns, and relationships in subtle but powerful ways. A grandfather’s unspoken war trauma might manifest as emotional distance in his children and anxiety or substance use in his grandchildren. Landau observed that families who didn’t address these roots often continued to struggle. In contrast, families who built resilience and processed the trauma often saw the pattern fade by the third to fifth generation. But why wait five generations for healing, when it can start now?

The Power of Family Stories

One of the most surprising tools for breaking trauma cycles is also one of the most ancient: storytelling. According to Landau, family stories—especially stories of overcoming hardship—can serve as a powerful protective force. In her work, she helps families uncover not just their pain, but their resilience: the ancestor who survived, the parent who stayed sober, the sibling who reached out.

This approach aligns with decades of psychological research. Studies by Emory University researchers Drs. Robyn Fivush and Marshall Duke found that children and teens who know more about their family’s history show higher levels of self-esteem, emotional well-being, and resilience. Their study used a "Do You Know?" questionnaire, with questions like: Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know the story of how your parents met? The more children knew, the more connected and confident they felt. Why? Because these stories offer continuity. They teach children, You come from people who have faced hard things and survived. You belong to something strong.

So What Do We Do With This?

Understanding generational trauma doesn’t mean we’re doomed. It means we’re empowered. If trauma can be passed down, then healing can be passed down too.

Here are a few ways families can start breaking the cycle, even outside of counseling:

1. Talk About the Past

It doesn’t have to be perfect. But talking about family history—the good, the hard, the healing—gives children a sense of place and identity. Even painful stories, when framed with courage and growth, become a source of strength.

2. Look for Resilience

Landau emphasizes not just looking at what went wrong, but what went right. What did your ancestors do to survive? What values did they pass down? Who helped you become who you are? This re-centers the narrative on capability and hope.

3. Get Support

Therapy can help families process inherited patterns and shift them intentionally. At Garden Refuge, our interns and licensed clinicians work closely together, helping families name their patterns and rewrite their stories.

4. Name What Was Lost

Sometimes what needs to be said most is what was never spoken. Naming grief, injustice, or trauma is the first step to releasing it. You don’t have to carry silent wounds any longer.

5. Tell the Full Story

Family stories shouldn’t just be about pain. They should also include recovery. Who got through it? What helped? How did the family grow? The stories we tell shape the lives we live.

Looking Back to Move Forward

This isn’t just about blindly moving foward carrying pain from the past, it’s about looking back to find the map. The road ahead gets clearer when we understand what we’re carrying, and where it came from. When you look in the mirror and see your grandfather’s eyes or your grandmother’s curly hair, know this: you didn’t just inherit their trauma—you inherited their strength.

I know generational trauma personally; it was what drew me to this field of study. My grandfather was a refugee growing up in a hostile city after his family was kicked out of their hometown. My great grandfather was murdered in a genocide. My great great grandfather had his arm cut off in a massacre. I grew up on stories of family trauma. What was broken in them has become wisdom in me. At Garden Refuge, we’re here to help you reclaim that strength so it can carry you forward.

Don't know your family stories? There are resources that can help. The Chatham Area Public Library has a genealogy group that meets regularly, or you can check out our video tutorials.

By Araxie Jensen